Someone call the WaaWaa patrol, I think I'm suffering from a mild case of chronic dissatisfaction.
This term, popularized by genius Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona wasn't even a household term until the movie came out. If you 'google' it a very large percentage of things that pop up are related to the movie.
Why the sudden fuss, or rather, onset of chronic dissatisfaction? Well I think its because we have so much more access to the lives of others, to blogs, to websites, to pictures, to movies, to more books...we are exposed to so many outside influences that how is it possible to not have a tiny sense of chronic dissatisfaction and think that maybe we are missing out on something that others seem to be getting a hold of?
I mean I am beyond grateful and happy for everything i have and have done in my life but i cant help to want more. Not more in the same sense as "the dumb bratty 7 year old wants more ice cream"...just more in the sense of 'more'...(italics for emphasis.)
Ive been like this all my life. Heck i even changed schools in the middle of high school because i wanted some new surroundings. my friends, family, and even I still to this day question this bizarre gesture.
i love how I'm writing all this after Monday night i posted how i was finally settled and complacent in my set surroundings blablaba. but I guess that's exactly why i woke up with a little twitch..
Of course, it doesn't help to have a supportive mom who offered me to live at home for 3 months, save money, then move to Paris to write my "screenplay." (I'm convinced she live vicariously through me, bless her heart) ..But my corporate instilled mind keeps me a bit grounded (fortunately/unfortunately).
I think all this nonsense is just stemming from a trauma i experienced this Sunday.....I really should have never started watching Disney's Oceans.
THEN i wouldn't help but watch and wonder how amazing the lives of the filmmakers must be...how I'm green with jealously over the fact that I'm not swimming with blue whales or filming a baby sea turtles first steps toward the ocean..how ill probably never travel to those places (anyone wanna take a quick trip to the Arctic soon?) or see those animals because I'm not in that field of work that would provide such settings and accommodations and how life probably will never be complete until i come face to face with an Asian Sheepshead Wrasse.
Iknow, i know, the grass only seems greener on the other side...but I'd just like to experience and make sure of that for myself. i want a little piece of every experience, good or bad just so i could say 'been there done that'.
I just really am convinced its greener for people in the Film-Writing/Art industry...constantly surrounded by beauty and creativity.
I don't want this blog to completely seem like I'm whining and complaining.. In fact even when I say chronic dissatisfaction I don't mean it in the sense of the word having such a negative connotation...The concept of dissatisfaction is just the state of not presently being 100% satisfied with your surroundings/situations....I'm 95% satisfied...but i know ill always (cue the use of the harsh term "chronic") still want more. Which is good, in its own bizarre way, mostly because my definition of satisfied means "comfortable" and to me, comfortable is just another word for complacent..complacent just another word for boring.
Therefore, dissatisfaction simply just encourages the improvement of one's present situation. Whether one needs a full life makeover or just a little splash of paint on the walls is totally up to the individual. I think I'd just like to incorporate more art into my corporate life...its time to brainstorm.
I guess I'm just the kind of person that likes the concept of searching rather than finding...
happiness, after all, is a journey, not a destination and I'm enjoying every step of the way.
____________________________________________________
One of my favorite narative clips from Vicky Cristina Barcelona:
This term, popularized by genius Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona wasn't even a household term until the movie came out. If you 'google' it a very large percentage of things that pop up are related to the movie.
Why the sudden fuss, or rather, onset of chronic dissatisfaction? Well I think its because we have so much more access to the lives of others, to blogs, to websites, to pictures, to movies, to more books...we are exposed to so many outside influences that how is it possible to not have a tiny sense of chronic dissatisfaction and think that maybe we are missing out on something that others seem to be getting a hold of?
I mean I am beyond grateful and happy for everything i have and have done in my life but i cant help to want more. Not more in the same sense as "the dumb bratty 7 year old wants more ice cream"...just more in the sense of 'more'...(italics for emphasis.)
Ive been like this all my life. Heck i even changed schools in the middle of high school because i wanted some new surroundings. my friends, family, and even I still to this day question this bizarre gesture.
i love how I'm writing all this after Monday night i posted how i was finally settled and complacent in my set surroundings blablaba. but I guess that's exactly why i woke up with a little twitch..
Of course, it doesn't help to have a supportive mom who offered me to live at home for 3 months, save money, then move to Paris to write my "screenplay." (I'm convinced she live vicariously through me, bless her heart) ..But my corporate instilled mind keeps me a bit grounded (fortunately/unfortunately).
I think all this nonsense is just stemming from a trauma i experienced this Sunday.....I really should have never started watching Disney's Oceans.
THEN i wouldn't help but watch and wonder how amazing the lives of the filmmakers must be...how I'm green with jealously over the fact that I'm not swimming with blue whales or filming a baby sea turtles first steps toward the ocean..how ill probably never travel to those places (anyone wanna take a quick trip to the Arctic soon?) or see those animals because I'm not in that field of work that would provide such settings and accommodations and how life probably will never be complete until i come face to face with an Asian Sheepshead Wrasse.
Iknow, i know, the grass only seems greener on the other side...but I'd just like to experience and make sure of that for myself. i want a little piece of every experience, good or bad just so i could say 'been there done that'.
I just really am convinced its greener for people in the Film-Writing/Art industry...constantly surrounded by beauty and creativity.
I don't want this blog to completely seem like I'm whining and complaining.. In fact even when I say chronic dissatisfaction I don't mean it in the sense of the word having such a negative connotation...The concept of dissatisfaction is just the state of not presently being 100% satisfied with your surroundings/situations....I'm 95% satisfied...but i know ill always (cue the use of the harsh term "chronic") still want more. Which is good, in its own bizarre way, mostly because my definition of satisfied means "comfortable" and to me, comfortable is just another word for complacent..complacent just another word for boring.
Therefore, dissatisfaction simply just encourages the improvement of one's present situation. Whether one needs a full life makeover or just a little splash of paint on the walls is totally up to the individual. I think I'd just like to incorporate more art into my corporate life...its time to brainstorm.
I guess I'm just the kind of person that likes the concept of searching rather than finding...
happiness, after all, is a journey, not a destination and I'm enjoying every step of the way.
____________________________________________________
One of my favorite narative clips from Vicky Cristina Barcelona:
Narrator: Cristina, who spent the last six months writing, directing, and acting in a 12-minute film which she then hated, had just broken up with yet another boyfriend and longed for a change of scenery. Everything fell into place when a distant relative of Vicky's family who lived in Barcelona offered to put both girls up for July and August. The two best friends had been close since college and shared the same tastes and opinions on most matters, yet when it came to the subject of love, it would be hard to find two more dissimilar viewpoints. Vicky had no tolerance for pain and no lust for combat. She was grounded and realistic. Her requirements in a man were seriousness and stability. She had become engaged to Doug because he was decent and successful and understood the beauty of commitment.
Cristina, on the other hand, expected something very different out of love. She had reluctantly accepted suffering as an inevitable component of deep passion, and was resigned to putting her feelings at risk. If you asked her what it was she was gambling her emotions on to win, she would not have been able to say. She knew what she didn't want, however, and that was exactly what Vicky valued above all else.
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