It's not Mundane. it's Monday.

Monday is my favorite day of the week. I've said it time and time again and I'll continue to yell it from a mountain top.

If you want me to not like you, complain about Mondays.

I will think you're narrow minded, have a lack of imagination and a lack of self. Gosh, you probably don't even have a backbone! Yes, I'm harsh critic (an exaggerating harsh critic.)

"Boring damned people. All over the earth. Propagating more boring damned people. What a horror show. The earth swarmed with them." - Charles Bukowski (on what I think he also thought of people that didn't like Monday)

Mondays are reflective and solitary. Two beautiful things. No one wants to party on Mondays or socialize for the most part and I think that's why i love it.

My life seems to be filled with compromises of some sort every other day of the week. (except for Friday's as well. As my mother says "Friday's are tacky. Everyone goes out on Fridays")

So that's why Monday is MY day, my FREE day. Even when in a serious relationship, my bf has always known I will not see you on Monday.

My parents know that I will not come over nor partake in family events (which rarely happen on Mondays) and I think my friends don't even bother to call me. Its just me...free of human interaction, alone with my thoughts (and an internet full of whimsical information to offer.)

freee to come home, latharge around the house a bit, cook if i want to, order something delicious if i want to, i can go running or walking, I can play tennis...and then the best part.....

everything that happens after about 9pm.

I usually fall asleep the latest on Monday nights because Ive "done" so much.

things one can "do" on a Monday:

- thoroughly organize a random room/shelf/drawer of your house- discover new things/ or new ways of looking at old things

- create a list of some sort...lists of sorts are great. today i made a list "places ill go next summer" (the lists don't even have to be realistic)

- get a bunch of old magazines and cut out pictures of things you like

- cook a random dish you wouldn't mind screwing up because your by yourself

- bubble baths/facial masks/random bizarre facial treatments you read about online or in magazines

- watch a bunch of different TED talks

- practice giving your own TED talk

-record yourself giving your own TED talk (a girl can dream, can't she?)

- read different tumblr's and play "say a number between 1-500 and go to that page"

- browse different playlists on playlist.com of random genres you're only a lil bit curious about

- plan your birthday party (doesnt have to be the soonest one coming, just a killer birthday you would one day like to have)

- write.

- go to Walgreens and buy cards and fill them out and send them or keep them

- browse different blogs on random subjects. start by typing "people that love ____" and see the bizarreness or simplicity of the things that arise (today's was "PEOPLE THAT LOVE GLASS")

- google things you are interested in knowing about but not so interested that you'd go out of your way to learn about it (for example: gargoyles ) (go ahead. ask me anything)

- browse pinterest/make your own pinterest/plan on making your own pinterest by saving random pics of things that are pinteresting. (*giggles*)

- watch random short segments from "20/20" on abc.com - The Van Gogh segment is a good one.

whatever you do, dont turn on the TV and just sit there simply existing, passing time...mindlessly laughing at less than funny comedy (or if you want me to really snarl at you: reality shows)

If there is anything that has expanded my imagination or just made life more interesting, its not turning on the TV (except for World News at 6:30pm with Diane Sawyer: its 30 minutes, thats about all you need).

Not turning on the TV causes you to look elsewhere for entertainment (and i dont mean facebook or youtube videos of funny cats (that's for sundays, not mondays).

And by "entertainment" i mean knowledge and not in that "im holier than thou with all this snotty knowledge ive acquired"

Google why things happen, read about current evens in countries you've never heard of, research nebulas.

I mean, its only for the sake of Monday. If you can't spend at least 30 minutes of your night learning about something then i don't even know what to tell you.

Instead of existing, wonder. And once you've wondered, take the next step: learn.

How nice- to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive. - Kurt Vonnegut

Who knows, maybe one day at a random dinner party a conversation about the history of gargoyles will strike up and you'll be able to give your own two cents.

pssst, and just in case: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gargoyle

I got 99 questions..

• 1) Put your iTunes on shuffle. Give me the first 6 songs that pop up.
• 1. Jay Z- Girls, Girls, Girls
• 2. Neil Diamond- Cracklin' Rosie
• 3. Erasure - A Little Respect
• 4. La Sonora Dinamita- Mi Cucu **my guilty pleasure**
• 5. The Notorious B.I.G- I gotta Story to Tell
• 6. Simon and Garfunkel- The Sound of Silence
• 2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? off the top of my head, Sofia Coppola
• 3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. '....shopping extravaganza in a third world country" - Sandra Bernhard in Vanity Fair's Proust Questionnaire
• 4) What do you think about most?
• currently: technology/websites/ideas
• always: death/life/all the in between
• 5) What does your latest text message from someone else say? "donde estas?"
• 6) What would you title your autobiography? "Inside The Mental Labyrinth" or "The Non-connected Siamese Twin in One"
• 7) What's your strangest talent? I can roll my tongue and can say the alphabet backwards, flawlessly.
• 8) Girls.... (finish the sentence); Boys.... (finish the sentence): girls are frilly boys are silly
• 9) Ever had a poem or song written about you? yes, rumi and hafiz wrote poems about me all the time which is weird because, well...we've never even met.
• 10) When is the last time you played the air guitar? I havent. I dont.
• 11) Do you have any strange phobias? yes, i think a plane is going to fall on me while im driving. lo and behold, its freaking happened twice in the past month (not on me, but on the highway I DRIVE ON.)
• 12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? not yet
• 13) What's your religion? in process. i tend to pick and choose different parts of different religions that i believe in. currently ill just call this nicolism.
• 14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? eating...this is the same response for "if you are inside what are you most likely doing"...i enjoy eating outdoors. i also like to lay on sheets on grassy patches wherever there is wind and twilight.
• 15) Do you perfer to be behind the camera or in front of it? lol....come on...
• 16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? radiohead
• 17) What was the last lie you told? "the time change confused me"
• 18) Do you believe in karma? naa..i really dont.
• 19) What does your URL mean? Prime 24 means me thinking i was at my prime at the age of 24...lol naivety is adorable
• 20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? greatest weakness is a chalupa supreme from taco bell on a saturday night at about 4am. greatest strength is that i have wicked will power/self control. i can resist anything (except chalupa supremes/sat night/4am, obviously.)
• 21) Who is your celebrity crush? i dont have celebrity crushes, i have techy crushes. and i cant say them because i plan on meeting them some day and thats just embarrassing.
• 22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping? i dont dip while skinny
• 23) How do you vent your anger? i yell like a COBRA. i dont hold in anger, ever. its a good and bad quality.
• 24) Do you have a collection of anything? i collect pictures/sketches of brains or anything brain related. im utterly fascinated by this disgusting looking, twisted maze of slimy tubes that REALLY look like a labyrinth....twisted turns of thoughts and whatnot. AMAZING!
• 25) Do you perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? i prefer not talking on the phone ever and never ever will you find me video chatting/ g chating/facebook chatting. please dont talk to me unless its in person, email, or bbm (no texts either)
• 26) Are you happy with the person you've become? yes. exactly where i want to be.
• 27) What's a sound you hate; sound you love? i hate the sound of loud chewing (DIE) and the sound of typing on a particular keyboard (i hate soft, consistent sounds by others) i love the sound of fans/wind/air condition
• 28) What's your biggest "what if"? What if I would have stayed in Paris and been a nanny? hmm....c'est la vie!
• 29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens? ghosts-no, because they are scary and I choose not to / Aliens- of course. i live by a motto: "It's a UFO until proven a plane.' Makes for interesting walks at night.
• 30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? right arm- air / left arm- cup of water . yawn, that was boring.
• 31) Smell the air. What do you smell? - i smell "good luck" ...because im a fool who believes in aromatherapy.
• 32) What's the worst place you have ever been to? car towing place on Bird Road......straight out of a horror film
• 33) Choose: East Coast or West Coast? Miami but in California...that makes sense right?
• 34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender? brandon boyd.
• 35) To you, what is the meaning of life? - the meaning of life is to make some meaning of your own life in a positive way. to have at least helped one other person in some way or another. then, enjoy the rest. simple as that.
• 36) Define Art: how can you define the undefinable.
• 37) Do you believe in luck? well clearly if i believe a company can bottle the smell into a $20 candle and sell it to a putz like me i must believe in it.
• 38) What's the weather like right now? Windy..and im liking the sound of it.
• 39) What time is it? 11:29pm
• 40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? yes i drive and so far i only crash into immobile objects.
• 41) What was the last book you read? The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath- I am certain that I am her reincarnation
• 42) Do you like the smell of gasoline? who doesn't.
• 43) Do you have any nicknames? Nic
• 44) What was the last movie you saw? ANONYMOUS
• 45) What's the worst injury you've ever had? severe food poisoning from eating strawberries at the UPICK farm....im such a hard ass.
• 46) Have you ever caught a butterfly? yes, in tennis ball cans when i was but a little girl
• 47) Do you have any obsessions right now? everything i like is an obsession...i either like things ALOT or not at all.
• 48) What's your favorite movie? Lost In Translation
• 49) Ever had a rumor spread about you? im sure
• 50) Do you believe in magic? no
• 51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong? i forgive but i dont forget...but ill still be very nice and cordial
• 52) What is your astrological sign? pisces/aries...an exact blend of both
• 53) Do you save money or spend it? i save 6%...thats not an exact calculation but it mentally sounds about right.
• 54) What's the last thing you purchased? burts bees chap stick
• 55) Love or lust? a good mix of both is key
• 56) chocolate or vanilla? vanilla with chocolate sprinkles
• 57) How many relationships have you had? oy vey
• 58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue? no
• 59) Where were you yesterday? work then "sushi with my bitches"
• 60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? rarely
• 61) Are you wearing socks right now? no, i would never do that. i love cold feet
• 62) What's your favorite animal? killer whales/owls
• 63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? it wouldn't be a secret now would it?
• 64) Where is your best friend? theyre evenly spread out around miami and i got one in jacksonville right now....get those bills noble nobe!
• 65) What is your most marked characteristic? hmm...being a lil weird/chicken pock scar smack dab between my eyes
• 66) What is your heritage? native american/irish/colombian....RUN!
• 67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM? sleeping
• 68) What do you think is Satan's last name? id say something politically incorrect but there's a .055% chance ill run for government office one day and the internet is written in permanent ink.
• 69) What is your current state of mind? pragmatic....such a great word
• 70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? id only be friends with half of myself
• 71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? i save the dog, and if its a st bernard, i name it laverne and take it home with me. then i'd send my ex-boss a christmas card of me and laverne every single christmas from then on out.
• 72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?
• a. i dont tell anyone
• b. i eat a lot/galavant around a lot/give away all my stuff and whatever money i had left from galavanting/ then id write a note inside the book sleeve of hand selected books for my parents, sisters, and 5 friends. theyd be handpicked books for each person. itll be a pretty note.
• c. no
• 73) You can only have one of these things: trust or love. Love. trust is pointless without love
• 74) What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Cracklin' Rosie
• 75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? no.
• 76) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? fun, trust, conversation, love, lust
• 77) How can I win your heart? be hysterical but not slap stick funny..smart but not too philosophical...kind but not a pushover...i can go on
• 78) Can insanity bring on more creativity? it's the only thing that ever has
• 79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? to go to italy when i was 19 by myself...opened up a whole new perspective
• 80) What size shoes do you where? 7.5
• 81) What would you want to be written on your tombstone? I'M NOT REALLY HERE
• 82) What is your favorite word? labyrinth
• 83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart. BLOOD
• 84) What is a saying you say a lot? "does that even make sense?" - "i cant bother"
• 85) What's the last song you listened to? The Shins- Sleeping Lessons
• 86) Basic question: what's your favorite color/colors? white/black
• 87) What is your current desktop picture? a brain-ish looking sketch with lanterns in different corners
• 88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? bullies (as a whole..they are essentially one person, aren't they?)
• 89) What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on? too afraid to even think about the the answer to THIS question
• 90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? ....i'd say "well isn't this ironic?" ...only ZBA will get this one ;)
• 91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? whatever powers ALEX MACK had.
• 92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
• bastille day at the eiffel tower while the fire works were going and Valse D'Amelie was playing in the background. (off top of my head, i have specific moments with family and friends id go back to but i was being selfish)
• 93) Favorite quote of all time? This place where you are right now God circled on a map for you- Hafiz
• 94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be? why'd this survey get raunchy all of a sudden?
• 95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Maldives
• 96) Do you have any relatives in jail? gosh i hope not
• 97) Have you ever thrown up in the car? no
• 98) Ever been on a plane? yes, and ive flown one and not fallen on someone cause im a SAFE pilot
• 99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say? relax.
• 
  

bizarre ramblings about far off places.

stop right there.......before anything else.....pump up the volume. this is neither a request nor a command, this is a sincere plea.

Its as if I watching the world's most epic sunset about to completely set and i didn't nudge the person sleeping next to me to wake up and get a good look at it. Things like this were meant to be shared... (also the feeling i have about every quote/poem/picture i stumble upon)

In fact, I am only blogging because i want others to hear this song.

I don't know the term stronger and more potent than utter obsession, but that's exactly what i have for this.

it makes me wander off into some form of deja vu-ish nostalgia about no one in particular. Kinda like when you walk by a scent but you cant pinpoint what memory you associate it with.. a memory youd like to trace back even though in the back of your mind you know it might of never even existed. but wish it did.

But maybe that's something unique to wanderlust fools like me....i wish for moments in terms of poems, song lyrics, and movies. If I was a director, everything in my life would be perfectly crafted to match a song. Which confirms what ive always been told, im in love with the thought of something as opposed to the actual something.

Regardless, in this movie that is my life, this is the song in the soundtrack that plays when i meet the love(s) of my life.The only kinda songs that I can associate to past soundtracks have been by pitbull or neyo.

Big Jet Plane plays during the montage of "us" frolicking down windsome paths, taking black and white photographs, and looking up in the sky for UFOS.

Okay enough with this mystic romanticism.

Ive thrice attempted to blog of my two week bi-coastal visits but words on a page would not be suffice and cannot do it justice..therefore I cant even bother.

Whenever I feel like I cant explain something, I just give up and dont even attempt. I recently read that "People who are good with words are forever searching for the right way to express themselves, and that’s why they have no clarity "- Laura Marling

When i feel like i cant express or describe something, i get anxious and then retreat back into the mental labyrinth to see if I conjure the right way to say it...but in doing so I get all lost and twisted as most would do in a maze-like brain and jump onto another thought process.

This sounds like alot of emotions for a simple travel summary but im complicated like that. Id rather talk about melancholy and emotion than give a two page summary of something simple.

However, my trip was perfect.

It was a mixture of everything id like my life to be summed up in 2 weeks and 2 words. Ying and Yang. Extravagant simplicity, obscene tranquility, and LOTS OF FOOD. I wish I could balance that last part by adding excerpts of hikes, swims, or runs but there was absolutely none of that taking place. My sneakers, socks, and sports bra traveled in vain.

New York was high intensity energy, elaborate overpriced meals, wicked dancing with long-haired hippie strangers, and mental soliloquies on the sidewalks of Herald Square (my favorite spot, don't even ask me why.)

California was a stroll through memory lane with family and childhood BFFs, mountainous valleys, piers and surfers, Jeep Wranglers on Sunset Blvd with Neil Diamond blasting, and a dash of Mexican wedding crashing (mariachis included).

I loved everything about everyday because I did some true Carpe Diem'ing...something that should be done more often by my "i work all day and now im too lathargic to do anything but sloth" self.

I really think NY is the ultimate aphrodisiac for psychology enthusiasts...and for people that make up a story about every stranger they see. Its as if everyrone there (most people) are in an uphill race to this magical, breathtaking, Nowhere's land.

Now dont get the wrong impression and a negative connotation about Nowheres Land, hear me out about this imaginary thought-up land.

See, non-believers like me think that one can only be content in NY if you are very financially comfortable.

Im not going to lie or fake it; I need my car, i need my easy access to my living quarters, I need my appliances to be up-to-date......all these things in NY require a yearly salary of a Fajillion dollars.

New Yorker's are believers as well as LIVERS (lol...not the organ ...hahahaha that sounds awesome because i really wrote that enthusiastically only to realize I was capitalizing and putting emphasis on a word that really is an organ) #thingsthatexcitewriters

these NY livers walk up 5 flights of stairs, walk blocks and blocks in the rain, they struggle in the heat of the summer and wicked cold of the winter, and they know that they will be doing this forever as long as they live in NY....and they are fine with it. no, "fine" is not the word, they live for this because they understand the payoffs of doing so.

Payoffs such as laying in central park on the first day of Autumn or being serenaded by Josh Groban-esque musicians in the train stations.....Eating the finest pizza on that lil corner in SoHo where the proud restaurant owner is the one serving you.... watching parades of fabulous freaks on the sidewalks every single day.

i am a liver, but a miami liver, im too lazy to be a NY liver yet still vibrant enough to want to be a liver nonetheless.

California...i like you alot too. You are fresh, crisp, mountainous, and 'chill'...almost too chill. You are full of beautiful strangers everywhere....AND you have Laguna Beach, which is amazingly beautiful.....for 3 days. But I need a little more than that.

Miami is just so lovely and chachi and all i can think about is the fact that I'm going to be that "30 something clubber" in thatMalaysian aquatic paradise or whatever is being built in Downtown.

I am a Miami girl. I wish I was a Paris girl or NY girl or LA girl but I am a Miami girl and i might as well embrace it. I mean we did just have the next world power invest 3 billion dollars into this lil gem....so we must be doin' something right?

Anyways, I love living here yet yearning to live elsewhere. I enjoy being a burning mass of unfulfilled desires, just call me a masochist. There really is nothing like traveling to cool places but loving to come home.

To end this, I have a side story:

i am suddenly allergic to clams. How nerdy is that? clams. sounds like yams. clams made me clammy.....but when i say clammy i mean "a brutal fury of deathlike feeling was thrust upon me"

i NEVER get sick..EVER...especially when in public. I was too vain to faint. in fact I refuuuuused to faint , my brain was saying "oh dont u dare do that girl, there ARE PEOPLE WATCHING!"

I talked myself out of fainting but had i been by myself i woulda just face planted into the floor. I looked over to ashley and said, in a very matter-of-fact way, "i think im going to die" and just sat down on the table.

She was bewildered because this kind of stuff has never happened to me but i was too busy concentrating on not fainting that i wouldn't even respond to her. I just would look at her with the saddest puppy eyes and didnt even have the strength to speak. then i started sweating (i dont EVER sweat, i glisten occasionally on the rare occasion i am doing something strenuous) and thats when she freaked out.. Thankfully her boyfriend Zack's mom was there and as usually happens with mothers, she knew what was happening. She slipped me a benadryll and I was okay in 15 minutes.

Mind you, this all happened while in Fire Island...the land of no cars, hospitals, doctors, etc. Had she not randomly been there with a BENADRYLL in her POCKET (??) I woulda died.

God loves me. The End. Hold the clams, please.

Thoughts on a Plane

***Disclaimer: These thoughts were in fact had, and written, while on plane. However, 'gogoinflight' did not work for me so i couldnt post while actually on the plane. I promise Im not just trying to do one of the worlds most clever pop-culture references to 'Snakes on a Plane.'***

______________________________________________________________

58 pounds of clothes is totally appropriate for 2 weeks.

TSA screened my bag for a good five minutes. I felt strangely uncomfortable watching them stare at the Xray of my carry-on and mentally sifted through the items I had in my bag thinking maybe I brought something weird. Nope, but apparently 2 different versions of hand-held, portable clothes steamers can also resemble weaponry. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Forget pottery barn, my wedding registry is going to be with SkyMall. The 'Always Cool Pillow'? Yes please. Voice Activated R2-D2? Don’t mind if I do. Cast iron Giraffe Toilet Paper holder? Thanks, Ill take two.

I genuinely should have been a mad scientist/inventor. My ideas are always brought to life 2 years down the road. I am the inventor of the camera that comes with a built in tri-pod. Just ask my Paris Study Abroad group, Casio. I also thought up the concept of internet hubs at airports before internet was even invented. (ok now im blowing things out of proportion but still)

Oh, a cat as a “carry on”….yes, please sit next to me, I have no desire to breathe normally through my nose nor see through my swollen eyes for the next hour and 58 minutes we are in flight.

Whenever I fly anywhere, I cant help but think about trust and how ironic a concept it is. We trust random strangers to safely fly 12 ton vessels through the air, yet I don’t trust my best friend to tell me whether i'm wearing the right dress or not. And this is with everything: bridges, houses, elevators. We put so much trust in complete strangers; we trust they know what they were doing and building when we place our able bodies into these man made structures yet I can't trust you not to drop me off your shoulders when we do a chicken fight in the pool.

Whenever a plane takes off I do the sign off the cross habitually. Today I found myself subconsciously adding “if its my time, its my time” ... ummm pretty sure i dont think that but apparently ive conquered my fear of death between now and the last time I flew. I don’t even know what to account this to.

Speaking of “what to account this to,” sometimes I make up “phrases” that don’t even make sense. Like yesterday Natalie pointed out to me that its “lets play it by ear” when for the past 26 years ive been saying “lets play it by year”….i say things that I don’t even know what they mean but they just sound right to me.

Im writing this in 7pt font because I refuse for the 12 year old girl (and cat) im sitting next to to think im strange.

When confronted with the airport bookstore, I cant help but wish I was normal. How lovely to go on vacation and read a nice, whimsical or adventurously mysterious novel? Nope, not me. I try to, I really do…id love to read fiction and fantasy but I am ALWAYS inclined towards books written by psychologists. I swear that I could probably get a fake PhD from all the books ive read. My obsession is sick and maybe this is why i probably have some form of eccentric personality disorder.

Im reading “emotional intelligence 2.0” which I just purchased. Its about how to attain a higher EQ. The four concepts are partnered in Self Awareness/Self Management and Social awareness/Relationship management. From what Ive read so far, im only good with the self awareness and social awareness. aye aye aye.

I may die of starvation and Delta doesn’t even sell Pringles for $28 dollars like American Airlines does. They only give you complimentary pretzels with grand total of 45 calories. This is abuse.

On the way to the airport I was talking to my mom about my blog. I swear everyone reads my blog except for my best friends and family. Thanks for the support, guys. Even on Monday I called my mom and said “mommy, read my blog, I even mentioned you in it " –" I cant, right now, Bachelor Pad is on.” Today I made a second request and she seemed more enthused, she even offered recommendations such as “so when you travel write about yours travels like “hiiiii its me, today im here” ……watch out, Mr. Pulitzer.

How the heck do people sleep sitting up? I cant even sleep laying down, on the worlds most comfortable bed. If i could have any magic power, it would be the power to sleep anywhere.

I don't know why, but I get VERY upset when people dont follow the stupid rules of flight. ELECTRONICS OFF!!!! SEAT BACK UP!!! PUT THAT DAMN TRAY TABLE BACK UP!!!!

I am tossing the stink eye left and right at these law disobeyers. I'm such a square.

The best part of any flight is the turbulence. Its trilling to me beyond belief....as well as seeing other planes in the sky at the same time....well actually that's just awkward.

end of a hiatus

I think I am going to blog every Monday or Tuesday. Only once a week. For sure I can think of something to write once a week?! If not, that should be a testament that maybe I should be living life differently if I can't come up with a little story or two, sheesh!

I leave on my two week bi-coastal tour on Wednesday! Im flying MIA-LGA for one week then LGA-LAX for another week. My boss is the greatest human ever who gives us a two week vacation in the summer plus we get two weeks in December. I didn't know where to go or what to do for two weeks, considering no one else I know can take off for two weeks with me. So, I decided I'd visit friends and family in two of America's most hectic and vibrant cities.

Going to see my noblest nobbe in New York and then in LA I'll see my Brother and Sister, Tim and Trista , and my dearest wrikey, Cyrina.

This two week vacay is going to be the ironic grand finale to my 3 month hiatus. Ive done absolutely nothing for the past 3 months and LOVED it. a little too much. My introvert-hermit tendencies have really shown through, and although I relish in solitude and independence, i know im still too young to be like this. So, I'm forcing myself back "out" into the scene and oh what a scene NY and LA shall be.

For awhile I became dependant on the social life, and on people. I was dating people without taking a break for myself and had lost myself having always had my mind on others. I like to think of myself as a disciplined person and had lost some of my self-control the past couple of years. Not that three months is a life altering amount of time to "find oneself" but you can definitely put a lot of things into perspective when you don't go out, don't have cable, and only somtimes have internet (if and only NETGEAR is around.)

I think the issue with a lot of people is that they don't want to feel what they feel.

If they are sad or down they want to be so distracted. No! if you're sad, then be sad! If you're happy, feel happy.

Feel what you feel.

Nothing is ever on a constant high or low. I just read in my 50 Life Lessons book that "No matter how good or bad a situation is, it will always change". and its so true.

When my grandparent's passed away, I retreated even more into myself. I felt bad that I was doing it because you always hear how you should "Get out, distract your mind, have fun, dont be sad!"

So i tried. and whenever I did and "had a great time"...id come crashing down from this mini-high into the lowest low. Why? Because i wasn't feeling what I felt at the moment. I was feeling happy when in reality I wasn't. We are taught that feeling sad or down or low is a sin, and that we should "make the best out of everything".....but that's bullshit.

When i finally shut out the world and basically holed myself up in a room, cried myself to sleep for a few nights...i felt better. I understood that it was okay, normal, "human," to be sad and depressed sometimes. The only thing I know for certain also turns out to be one of the biggest cliches: time heals everything.

you just have to give time, time.

In such an on-demand, high speed society, we want all this instant satisfaction. And that's just not the case when it comes to the human experience or emotion.

If more people gave time, time...and felt what they were feeling and dealt with it and were okay with it, i genuinely think things would be a little better.

We wouldn't act out on aggression or anguish. We wouldn't have all this rage that leads people to kill innocent children because they have different political beliefs or leads people to drive people off the road from the road rage they are experiencing.

It can even so simple as to say that maybe some people wouldn't stay in such bad relationships if they were okay with the fact that yes, you will be sad and mad and depressed and angry....but guess what? You will get over it. And, as with everything, you will look back on that and laugh.

There was a point in my freshman year of high school that my boyfriend and I broke and my parents let me stay home from school because I was crying so much! Like I mean, hysterical. I really love looking back at that and laughing so hard....because at that time, I thought that life was over. That single experience has led me to look at everything in that way. In 5 years from now, we will laugh at (almost) everything. What a beautiful thing that is?

I thank my mom for really engraving that in my mind. She raised me telling me of all the same stories id tell her in horror and how she felt the same things i felt and now laughs at it all. Its such a reassuring fact in life. She's always the first person to tell me "ofcourse!" whenever I tell her a feeling im feeling.

"ofcourse you're angry, be angry! and then, get over it"

"ofcourse you're sad, that's normal! why wouldn't you be sad? In fact, it would be weird and really sad if you weren't sad"

Thank you, mom.

So i leave you with that, feel what you feel. Don't be scared or ashamed of your feelings, and DONT try to distract yourself because at some point it will hit you like a ton of bricks and itll be even worse.

Often, things are blessings in disguise. You just have to be aware and on the look out for the lessons behind everything.


I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.

-Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903; in Letters to a Young Poet

20,000

my blog has hit 20,000 views.

I was a bit more creative when i wrote 10,000 views so i wont try to outdo that.

Looking/reading back, I loved the first full year of my blog; everything was so exciting to write about and new. I sounded more lively. Well, especially considering that i started this blog to document my move to new york.

I am now a settled 26 year old that just renewed my lease. A dramatic commitment to one city and more importantly, one home (baby steps, mom, baby steps). Although my surroundings wont be changing too drastically for now (or maybe?) there is something 'cooking' that may rekindle the adventurous writer within me soon..

for now...i leave you (or rather, myself) with my favorite lil sentences from blogs April 09'- June 09'. These three months that i spent moving/arriving/somewhat-living in a new city are amongst the best of my life and will always be looked back on with complete fondness...i hope i never outgrow this feeling..

where it began....

okay..this has to be an ultimate low (or high) in my attempt to to win "2009 Proscrastinator of the Year".
I created a blog named prime23.blogspot.com and I didn't even begin to write in it until I turned 24?!

The Art of Sunday-ing

Step 3(a). If you go to Green Street and see people you know (it's inevitable), decide whether you will avoid them or say hi. ( or avoid them and then get caught and pretend like you just saw them

damn pigs. (or "swine flu spreading over new york and im still jobless")

Im an income development professional, dammit! I take from the rich, and I give to the sick, the poor, and the eldery. I dont take drink orders, I save lives! I've applied to JDRF, Habitat For Humanity, American Red Cross, United Way (the american cancer society arch nemesis but hey..i was running out of options), Muscular Dystrophy Association, and a few others. I guess it might look shady when I have a New York address already listed on my resume but my entire work experience until "present" has been in Miami. minor details..

And now for my next act... (my job as a magician aka income development officer)

Why free? Well, when you ask me what my budget is, the answer is essentially zero. Money spent on the event is money that is taken out of the fundraising income. Since the fundraising income is not hitting, nor exceeding, its goal, the money spent on the event must not exceed zero. You get the math? Good. This is when I have to think back to my days at Houdini Elementary and Copperfield College, when we would snap our fingers and magic would happen right before our eyes and girls would pop out of a coffin without a single scar.

Meet Lily Quinn (thoughts on my sister)

My mother, being thee most phenomenal person that she is, always comforted her and let her know that in the end, what goes around will always come around and that those that trim themselves to suit everyone will eventually whittle themselves away. The hardest year for Andi were her days at St. Thomas. Whats worse than robots? Cuban American Princess Robots. (I love all my CAPs out there, no hard feelings.)

Breakfast with Tiffany's

Along with a buffet of bagels and cream cheese was a tiny lil bag that was a color all women around the world have endearingly come to call "Tiffany Blue". I was flabbergasted; bagels, okay yes I understand, that's a persons rite of passage, but a gift from Tiffany's?! That was way too much. Inside the tiny bag was an even tinier box with a silver chain and a butterfly pendant. Attached was a note that read, "We will miss you while you are spreading your wings in NYC, love- FL Dade". If I was a crier, that would have been the perfect moment.

Everyone Needs a Noble Nobbe

Ashley and I started off like most best friendships start out; I hated her, made fun of her, traumatized her, and then a simple little radish brought us together. Why exactly did I hate her? Well, duh, Ashley was mean to my BFF Cyrina in 7th grade and once even told her,"GET OUT OF MY WAY, IM GONNA DO A CART WHEEL!!"- I mean, how rude is that?

A Perfect Goodbye

The morning ended even better with a brunch at Smith & Wollensky followed by my favorite drive in Miami; top down, chrome's spinnin through the Grove, a treezy maze. After that, I went to church withKathia. I had promised her about 7 months ago that I would attend her church with her one time and of course, leave it up to me to go the day before I leave town. It was beautiful, exactly what I needed, I even did the whole "flip to a random page and the first thing you read is your destiny" game, and I flipped to Romans 8:31, "If God is with us, who can be against us?" Could I have asked for a better destiny? I think not.

LIVE! From New York City..

After some dinner, gossip girl and wine, lindsey and I decided to baptise my NY residency with a trip to Butter. You know how I know I was meant to live here? I SAW BRENDA WALSH!! My first night in NY and I see my favorite TV character of all history? Am I in heaven? Other reasons I know I was meant to live here:

-the Costume Institute MET Gala took place last night, the exact day I arrived.
-the S&P 500 hit its highest point since Jan 8th
-I have an interview already set up for tommorow, 11am!

My Mom

Shes always not only supported me and my dreams, but pushed me towards them and pushed me hard. I was shipped off to Italy alone when I was 18 and then she sent me again to Paris right after my college graduation. This all from a woman who has never been to Europe herself but has always wanted to. She could have been like some other parents and left me at home to take care of my sisters while she went to Europe but she didnt. She takes the clothes off her back, the food off her plate, and has given the world to me and my sisters. Her beliefs in me and what I am possible of accomplishing are what drive me and motivate me

Week In Review

I went to Sbarro in Times Square. I realized my New Yorker friends would probably never allow me to go there so I had to use the excuse of really loving the Sbarro pizza in Times Square to get me there. (my miami friends know me and my addiction to touristy things such as "Bayside" and "Coco Walk". In my next life, I will be a tour guide.)

Now let's have some fun..

There is something thrilling about being buried more than 50 feet underground in a tunnel inside a fast moving train with complete random strangers who are basically sitting on top of you. I love to observe the different characters and wonder where they are going and where they are from. I think at any given moment I am smothered with people representing over 25 different countries. I like to observe their mannerisms and behaviors and laugh at how no one ever wants to sit directly next to each other unless they absolutely have to. People will literally sit with one full chair between them but you bet than when its 5pm they would rather sit on your lap than have to stand. Its so great. I just sit and stare at them while they sit and stare at a book or just close their eyes. I'm sure ill get over my fascination sometime soon and just drift off into space but at the moment I am way too intrigued by these mystical strangers who frequent the 7 train.

My Name is Nicole and I am an addict. (thoughts on hair dye)

Of course, once you put me in the cape and sit me on the seat, my mind starts racing and thinking back to old facebook pictures of all my different hair colors. She verifies that we are only doing a touch up when I use my famous " no wait! how about..." line and then she joins me in the journey through past profile pics. We decide its summer, Im in a new city, I already landed a job, so why not go blonder? And there we go..on came the bleach and out went my inhibitions. I felt the life rush into me, I was instantly more fun or shall I say 'funner' since I am in fact a blond again. (if you dont get that joke, step away from this blog)

All things 'ing'

Until I die -- Im reading, writing, learning, loving, laughing, crying, pandering, eating, conquering, falling, working, sneezing, giggling, whispering, driving,lolly gagging, partying, wondering, playing, dreaming, feeling, blogging....

Top 7s

Top 7 things I wanted to do in New York and have already done.
( Some more shallow than others)
1. Went to a Charity Benefit at Ciprianis- Wall St. and another one in a trendy loft
2. Walked around for hours at Central Park by my lonesome and thought deep thoughts.
3. Thoroughly explored the Guggenheim and the MET. Asked people "what do you think the artist was trying to say?"
4. Spent a weekend in the Hamptons. Sorry I never blogged about it, there wasn't much to tell. except that one night Teddy said "we just wanna dance"- but you had to be there to appreciate that.
5. Attended a rooftop party/bbq and met artsy people.
6. Ate at Sbarro in Times Square.
7. Saw my favorite celebrity, Shannen Doherty. Brenda Walsh will forever be my idol in life. She tamed Dylan McKay, I mean come on.

The Case of the Vain Asian

So I was riding home on the train the other day, glancing around, covertly trying to scope out the scene when I spotted this quiet, quaint, mid 20s Asian girl. She sat there in complete silence and stillness and my mind wandered off into Nictopia wondering," where is she from? Why can't I tell the difference between Asian countries and their native people? Does she speak English? Is she really sad or does she just naturally look sad? Why am I so dumb and stereotyping people?" All of a sudden, out of nowhere, she whipped out her uber high tech cell phone (stereotyping again, Im sure it was just a blackberry )and started taking pictures of herself. But I mean like sexy 'stare at the camera with that 'deer in the headlights' type of look. I was flabbergasted that I had thought that was the last thing shed all of a sudden do but I was even more surprised that she had the audacity to do that right there, on the 7 train amongst its 37 passengers.

Pictures of Strangers

I took the pictures I would normally take at Times Square (even if I went every single day for the rest of my life) and I was off to find my own works of art. I sat on a bench on the Avenues of the Americas and just observed. It wasnt too long before my first subject came bustling by. It was the hairiest man Ive ever seen carrying a HUGE Tiffany's box. He was a character straight out of a Jim Henson Movie (the one with actual people). And his strut wasnt just a quick step, he was stomping the grounds at a ferocious pace and had the biggest smile from ear to ear. Either he was really happy he was about to be forgivven for his misdeed because whatever was in that Tiffany's box was great, or he was on his way to proclaim his undieing love to the woman hes waited his entire life for. Whatever it was, it was beautiful. I didnt have the audacity to capture the image full frontal so I waited till he passed right by me and got a side angle. Practice will make perfect.

Chantel M. Bigglesworth

Chantel : Hey Nicole, Im Chantel, and im leaving westminster next year to go to a new school so how about on our last day of school, we dress up as spice girls and do a dance performance for the entire student body right here in the courtyard.
Nicole: Sure. As long as I can be Posh Spice.

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