Thoughts on a Plane

***Disclaimer: These thoughts were in fact had, and written, while on plane. However, 'gogoinflight' did not work for me so i couldnt post while actually on the plane. I promise Im not just trying to do one of the worlds most clever pop-culture references to 'Snakes on a Plane.'***

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58 pounds of clothes is totally appropriate for 2 weeks.

TSA screened my bag for a good five minutes. I felt strangely uncomfortable watching them stare at the Xray of my carry-on and mentally sifted through the items I had in my bag thinking maybe I brought something weird. Nope, but apparently 2 different versions of hand-held, portable clothes steamers can also resemble weaponry. Sorry I'm not sorry.

Forget pottery barn, my wedding registry is going to be with SkyMall. The 'Always Cool Pillow'? Yes please. Voice Activated R2-D2? Don’t mind if I do. Cast iron Giraffe Toilet Paper holder? Thanks, Ill take two.

I genuinely should have been a mad scientist/inventor. My ideas are always brought to life 2 years down the road. I am the inventor of the camera that comes with a built in tri-pod. Just ask my Paris Study Abroad group, Casio. I also thought up the concept of internet hubs at airports before internet was even invented. (ok now im blowing things out of proportion but still)

Oh, a cat as a “carry on”….yes, please sit next to me, I have no desire to breathe normally through my nose nor see through my swollen eyes for the next hour and 58 minutes we are in flight.

Whenever I fly anywhere, I cant help but think about trust and how ironic a concept it is. We trust random strangers to safely fly 12 ton vessels through the air, yet I don’t trust my best friend to tell me whether i'm wearing the right dress or not. And this is with everything: bridges, houses, elevators. We put so much trust in complete strangers; we trust they know what they were doing and building when we place our able bodies into these man made structures yet I can't trust you not to drop me off your shoulders when we do a chicken fight in the pool.

Whenever a plane takes off I do the sign off the cross habitually. Today I found myself subconsciously adding “if its my time, its my time” ... ummm pretty sure i dont think that but apparently ive conquered my fear of death between now and the last time I flew. I don’t even know what to account this to.

Speaking of “what to account this to,” sometimes I make up “phrases” that don’t even make sense. Like yesterday Natalie pointed out to me that its “lets play it by ear” when for the past 26 years ive been saying “lets play it by year”….i say things that I don’t even know what they mean but they just sound right to me.

Im writing this in 7pt font because I refuse for the 12 year old girl (and cat) im sitting next to to think im strange.

When confronted with the airport bookstore, I cant help but wish I was normal. How lovely to go on vacation and read a nice, whimsical or adventurously mysterious novel? Nope, not me. I try to, I really do…id love to read fiction and fantasy but I am ALWAYS inclined towards books written by psychologists. I swear that I could probably get a fake PhD from all the books ive read. My obsession is sick and maybe this is why i probably have some form of eccentric personality disorder.

Im reading “emotional intelligence 2.0” which I just purchased. Its about how to attain a higher EQ. The four concepts are partnered in Self Awareness/Self Management and Social awareness/Relationship management. From what Ive read so far, im only good with the self awareness and social awareness. aye aye aye.

I may die of starvation and Delta doesn’t even sell Pringles for $28 dollars like American Airlines does. They only give you complimentary pretzels with grand total of 45 calories. This is abuse.

On the way to the airport I was talking to my mom about my blog. I swear everyone reads my blog except for my best friends and family. Thanks for the support, guys. Even on Monday I called my mom and said “mommy, read my blog, I even mentioned you in it " –" I cant, right now, Bachelor Pad is on.” Today I made a second request and she seemed more enthused, she even offered recommendations such as “so when you travel write about yours travels like “hiiiii its me, today im here” ……watch out, Mr. Pulitzer.

How the heck do people sleep sitting up? I cant even sleep laying down, on the worlds most comfortable bed. If i could have any magic power, it would be the power to sleep anywhere.

I don't know why, but I get VERY upset when people dont follow the stupid rules of flight. ELECTRONICS OFF!!!! SEAT BACK UP!!! PUT THAT DAMN TRAY TABLE BACK UP!!!!

I am tossing the stink eye left and right at these law disobeyers. I'm such a square.

The best part of any flight is the turbulence. Its trilling to me beyond belief....as well as seeing other planes in the sky at the same time....well actually that's just awkward.