lazy one-liners

im moving on June 15th to my own apartment. I set this date back in May and because im the ultimate positive thinker, master of the universe, devoted apprentice to the law of attraction, i got what i wanted. all i have so far? a bed and a night stand.

i hate every couch i see, but not until the morning after i originally fell in love with it. im on my second couch return.

in 6 months im going to be Manager of all Director of Client Relations of our offices in New York and West Palm Beach office. how bout dem apples?

I work in international tax and money management..refer everyone to ME or i wont be your friend. if you do, ill buy you rock shrimp. just once though. sorry.

ive only had 3 glasses of wine in 3 weeks. life is better waking up feeling amazing.

echosign.com is the worlds greatest tool. i get so mad every time i log on for not having invented it myself.

i want to start a company, the CUNNINGHAM CORPORATION just because that sounds cool.

im so excited to move. i decorate my apartment in my dreams yet find nothing ive dreamt about in reality. maybe the CUNNINGHAM CORPORATION will design furniture from dreams.

my mom found me my apartment specifically within "walking distance of St. Jude".....guess thats a sign.

I want to personally jump into my television when watching Whale Wars and turn into a vicious water ninja and kill the hunters.

women of facebook, please stop quoting songs that will make it to a "Now Thats What I Call Music Volume. 26" CD. i understand that you are bulletproof, and that you wish airplanes were shooting stars, and that usher-omg or whatever, but enough.

i love walking around my house and pointing out things to my parents that i plan on secretly taking to my apartment when i move. they genuinely get furious, and nervous.

http://www.1000awesomethings.com/ is the worlds greatest website ever. visit it and experience the awesome for yourself.

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